At 50, I let myself be simply a woman – and after 22 years of marriage, a new honeymoon began

One day I was walking down the street and I saw two young women. They were maybe a little over twenty. They moved easily, beautifully, calmly – as if everything in their lives simply fell into place on its own. I stopped mid-step. I remember the exact spot. And I remember the question that rose up in my head all by itself.

Was it possible to just be a woman and have everything come to you?

I was fifty. By that point I was already living the life I had written out for myself many years before. My own expertise in nutrition. A healing practice. A house in France. A daughter, a husband, twenty-two years together. Financial security, freedom to move, the basics all covered.

Before that I had fifteen years in corporate business, so I know very well what it means to achieve, to hold, to control, to be responsible – and in many ways that is what let me reach the life I had dreamed of.

I was realised; on the surface, everything was working out. But at what cost? Where, in all of that, was my woman? Where was the relaxation? Where was the pleasure? Where was the feeling that I was not breaking through life with my forehead, but actually meeting it?

Most of all, my state showed up in my relationship with my husband.

It was not that everything was bad between us. I have a wonderful husband. But every so often a part of me would rise up – the part I myself called «the hysterical one». I could start managing him, getting irritated, snapping. In my head I had long understood: it was not about him.

I was triggering myself against my husband with my own tension. He simply happened to be nearby in the moment when something inside me hurt, clenched, and could not hold.

And I wanted to fix it. Inside me there was a call to come back to my own femininity.

I wanted to free myself from these tensions, to reconnect with my feelings, and to bring back the woman who, over the years of achieving, had seemed to fall asleep.

I came to Elizabeth because she had in her what I wanted for myself

I have known Elizabeth since 2018. I went through «The Best Year of Your Life» several times, I was in her club, but I wanted a truly deep programme. Not just one more course where I would listen to lectures, write down a few beautiful thoughts, and go on living the old way.

So when Elizabeth announced «Alchemy», it was a one-hundred-percent match. It was not only the subject that drew me. She drew me – her relaxation, her femininity, and at the same time a strength that is feminine.

For me, the spiritual and the material are joined together in her.

I am a material person. I am interested in bags, in trips, in the beauty of life. It matters to me not to fly off into spirituality so high that I forget a woman has a body, a home, a husband, money, clothes, desires. Many spiritual guides lean heavily one way: some are only about the spiritual, some only about the material. In Elizabeth I saw all of it at once: spirituality, matter, beauty, relationships, strength, relaxation.

And I wanted to go there.

My mat became a sacred place

When the active practices began, an interest and a delight came over me that is hard even to put into words. External things stopped interesting me so much. A new «Alchemy» lesson and my mat became more important than many of my usual tasks.

My daughter and husband even laughed: «That's it, Mum's gone off to her mat.»

To them I became a magical woman living on her mat.

I think they saw the state I came back in after the practices: softer, calmer, more full.

Gradually the practices became part of my life: in the morning, in the evening, sometimes in the middle of the day. I already had my own little altar, a woman's corner, but it grew. More oils came into my life, small rituals, things that help me return to myself.

I thought it would be impossible to fit an hour of practice into every day, but I chose my own version – five times a week, which feels more comfortable for me.

Especially when you understand: I am not just «doing an assignment». I am giving myself back to myself. These are sensations that are hard to describe or compare to anything; you have to feel them, and afterward you will never mistake them for anything else. You will no longer want to go back – into tension and anxiety.

For me, «Alchemy of a Woman» is a completely practical programme. If a person only wants to take in knowledge with the mind, it will be hard for them. Here you have to live it through the body.

Two practices that changed my life

If I had to choose my single favourite practice, it would be the practice of grounding into the earth. When I first learned it, I had the feeling: wow, this door with the golden key had been right beside me all along. Now this practice is with me every day. Sometimes thirty seconds or a minute is enough to change my state in the moment.

Before, if I was running late somewhere, if the taxi did not come, if something went off plan, my old friend Nervousness would show up in my head straight away: «So what now? What if I don't make it? What if it doesn't work out?»

Now I can stop, breathe out, release the tension, and ask: «Alright. How can we change this?» And from there the situation often starts to unfold differently.

Another setting that is always with me now is unconditional trust in life. It helps especially in the moments when everything is going off plan.

There was a vivid example with a flight.

Before, that kind of situation would have knocked me out of my state: I was not checked in for the flight, I did not have all the documents for my child with me, different surnames, things to prove. My head would have been full of anxiety, scenarios, an attempt to control everything in advance and, at the same time, anger at myself.

But this time I walked up to the counter calmly. Inside I had the feeling: I'll sort it all out. And it really did all sort itself out. They let us through without the certificate, found a way to confirm that this was my child, and gave us good seats at the front of the cabin.

For someone else this is just an everyday situation. For me it was a sign of a new state. For the first time I did not clench, did not start cooking up a catastrophe in my head, and did not drag everything along on the old anxiety.

I was calm and I trusted life. One of Elizabeth's phrases stayed with me deeply:

Life is for me. I am life itself.

If I am life itself, why would life do me harm?

Changes in the relationship

At «Alchemy» we did a constellation on femininity, where we worked through relationships. And it changed a great deal.

The main thing I saw: we always look at a person from some particular gaze. And the gaze we look with is what they become for us.

If a man is riding a bicycle and falls, you can see in him a weakling who fell. Or you can see a person who is about to get up and ride on.

Before the programme, I often looked at my husband through his weak side. For example, if he was working a lot, I could see a minus in it: «There he goes, working too much again». Now I see it differently: «Wow, what a great husband I have. He works, he takes responsibility, he keeps moving».

During «Alchemy» he signed up for a half-marathon. I came along to be there with him; it was a very beautiful place. And watching him run, I suddenly caught a new feeling in myself – I saw his strength. Instead of my usual criticism, pride appeared.

My husband did not become a different person. I started to see him differently: I began to remember his actions toward me, his contribution, his strength. And the things that used to irritate me came to feel completely different.

After 22 years of marriage, it was as if a new honeymoon had begun

My husband and I have been together for 22 years. And at «Alchemy» a feeling of a new honeymoon appeared between us.

Not because we suddenly started living like a romantic film, where everyone has strawberries for breakfast on the balcony and no one ever forgets to take out the rubbish. On the outside, our way of life did not change much. We were fairly independent people, and we stayed that way.

But my reaction changed.

I became softer, more attentive; I listen more and I see his contribution. We started a morning «five-minute check-in»: we meet, sync up across our different schedules, talk about who is going where and what matters, and then each of us heads into our own day.

My husband started earning more, taking on more responsibility. A long-stalled question about working in another country began to resolve. They granted him a work permit, the salary there is higher, and the chance to go into an office appeared – and both of us already needed that movement and that new space.

I feel that he has become readier to agree to my ideas.

The way I put it: I shine, and he clears everyone out of the way with his sword and goes and does it.

I feel my own strength, he feels my strength, and we begin to move together.

My libido came back – and for me this was one of the most unexpected results

I am a nutritionist; I work with biochemistry, supplements, hormonal states, the body. And for me it was almost impossible to believe that libido could be brought back through practices.

Especially with my hormonal situation. I did not even have a direct request for this, but «Alchemy» gave me back my desire.

I see how many women, especially in recent years, have lost their libido. And it is not something people talk about. Women suffer in silence, pretend everything is fine, put it down to age, stress, hormones, circumstances.

For me this became an important result, all the more so as a specialist who works with women.

Because if, through practices, you can bring back contact with the body, relaxation, desire, that changes more than the intimate side of life. It gives a woman back the feeling of being alive in her body.

My body grew fuller, the weight began to come off, and I had more energy

I did not have serious health problems; I felt good even before the programme. But at «Alchemy» I noticed that the weight started to come off.

The practices give a lot of energy. After the main sacred practice, I had the feeling that I did not want to eat. As if the body had received energy directly, and no longer needed to top it up with food.

My body became fuller, more alive, more energetic. And the people around me started to notice it:

You haven't only slimmed down, you look younger too.

People started complimenting me more often, especially when I wore pink. Before, it was as if no one noticed; now people began to see more softness, more light, more femininity in me.

I saw my own strength – the creating and the destroying

On the programme I saw my own strength very clearly. Both the creating and the destroying.

On one hand, I started to notice how quickly my desires materialise: trips, money, decisions, opportunities. I want something – and somehow it comes quickly.

On the other hand, there was a very strong episode.

I shouted at my daughter and my husband. And both of them literally sagged physically: their heads and stomachs began to ache. In that moment they felt unwell. I saw that it was my energy, my strength, that had affected them like that.

For me this became a lesson: when there is more strength inside you, the word becomes stronger too. It can heal, and it can wound. And that is already a question of responsibility.

A large source of income suddenly disappeared – and I did not fall into lack

When I had only just started «Alchemy», a big project of mine closed down.

It had stopped bringing me joy a long time ago. I understood that sooner or later I would need to leave it, because it took more energy than it gave. But on my own I might not have dared to for a long time yet.

And then the project left by itself.

Before, that kind of situation could have switched on the anxiety: what now, what to replace it with, how fast, where does the money come from. But here I had a star-marked assignment: not to fall into a state of lack.

And I did not fall.

Thanks to the practices there was no strong stress. There was an understanding: there is no other way. I will not carry this project with me into a new state, into being a woman. It was taking up the place meant for something new.

Right now I am thinking about a new project to replace the one that left. It is not a fast process, and I am at peace with that. Elizabeth said that you should not expect instant results from «Alchemy», that some processes open up over a horizon of two or three years. That resonated with me.

At the same time, money began coming in more through my husband. His income grew, and the work question that had stood still for so long started to resolve.

Material situations started resolving more easily

There was another telling moment.

When I entered «Alchemy», we had a property we were renting out. And almost at the same time as the large source of income disappeared, two tenants said they were moving out.

At first a slight panic rose inside. And then I stopped: «Right, hold on. We'll sort it all out.» And it resolved exactly, one to one, the way I wanted.

I told myself: «I don't want to get drawn into viewings right now. I want one person to come, see it – and that's it.»

And that is just what happened.

One person came, looked, took the keys. I never even met these people in person; it all happened remotely. Within a few days the question was closed.

Before, I might have handled this out of anxiety, control, tension. Now – out of trust and a calm certainty that my person would come and everything would fall into place quickly.

The family trip I had wanted for 10 years

For 10 years I had dreamed of gathering our big family from different countries. But something always got in the way: for someone it was too expensive, someone could not make it, someone wanted a different hotel, everyone had different schedules, different countries, different circumstances.

And at «Alchemy», it all came together.

Fourteen relatives from England, Poland, France, and other places were able to meet in Egypt – in a place of power for me.

We rented a yacht just for our family.

Even when, right before boarding, my husband's sister and her child turned out to have an expired passport, it all resolved: in England they managed to get a new passport quickly and fly in for at least the last two days.

It was like a fairy tale. It was as if I was holding the space for this gathering.

And I saw my family line differently: strong, beautiful, alive. I saw that everyone's relationships started to improve, that the people around me were becoming more energetic, more beautiful, richer, more steady.

A feeling appeared in me: in my field, everyone is growing. My husband found work. A friend found a good job. The people close to me started resolving their material questions.

Perhaps I simply began to see people's strength – and through that they began to open up.

I became less dependent on social media

Before the programme I would now and then have a dependence on social media: a constant urge to consume other people's information, to learn, to watch, to find out something new.

I am that kind of person: I am always curious. After «Alchemy» there was less of this.

Not because I forbade myself social media, but simply because a feeling appeared that everything was enough. That there is no need to keep topping up on other people's thoughts when you can lie down on the mat, return to the body, and hear yourself.

The practices took the place where the bustle used to be.

What I understood about femininity

It is not only about sexuality. On the programme, two states opened up very strongly for me: pleasure and beauty. I started to notice these more: what things are around me? What quality are they? How do I look? What do I create with my presence?

For me, femininity now is calm and relaxation. It is when I walk into a space and people do not tense up but relax. They feel good. And I feel good.

What «Alchemy» gave me

In short, «Alchemy» gave me back my trust in life and my sleeping woman.

I received a new state and tools I can use to move through difficulties. Not to run from them, not to wind myself up in anxiety, not to solve everything with logic alone, but to return to the body, to the breath, to grounding, to trust.

• I became calmer, more relaxed, more feminine.
• I saw my husband as strong, started to see his contribution, started to see our relationship differently.
• I began to feel my body differently. My libido came back. The weight started coming off. I had more energy.
• I stopped getting so irritated. The people who used to drive me up the wall barely touch me now. Even my mother-in-law stopped triggering me – and that, you have to admit, is already a mark of quality.
• After the practices, my husband and child often reach for me: they hug me, take my hand. I feel that an energy comes from me that people want to touch.
• My anxiety about the future is gone – and that is a state from which it is easier to act, to inspire others, and not to fall apart under outside uncertainty.

Who I would recommend «Alchemy» to

To a woman who is tired of achieving through tension and wants to achieve in a feminine way – more relaxed, keeping her energy and her youth. Who has already tried a lot – retreats, spiritual practices – and is looking for a new method. Who believes in higher forces and finally wants to hear her own soul.